Domestic Incident
by Scarlet Secret
Summary: Crossover with Harry Potter, slightly. An unfortunate incident in a supermarket means that Constance is going to have to be careful about what she says to Millie in future.


"Severus, for the final time, we are getting strawberry, not banana, you now I'm allergic to it."  
  
"But I hate strawberry, and banana is oh so good."  
  
Severus Snape and Constance Black were similar in a lot of ways. They both taught potions, they were both tall with fair complexion, they both wore black and had black hair. In fact, it was often said they were opposite sides of the same coin, they were almost identical, except for their preference of milkshake.  
  
At the moment they were arguing in Waitrose. All over the summer they had already argued in Sainsbury's, Kwiksave and Asda. They had already been banned from all of these shops when it had turned violent.  
  
Today they had vowed not to kill each other, unless they unfortunately ran into one of their students, this had not happened yet, but in Muggle London it was inevitable. They weren't exactly dressed for confrontation either, he wore jeans and a green shirt. Slytherin followed him wherever he went. She wore a flame red top (Gryffindor was always there to annoy him). They both hoped against hope that they would not gain attention. Snape had been forced into washing his hair (under threat of being turned into a banana) and it was (much to his disgust) pulled into a ponytail.  
  
He had argued about this with her until he had found another point to argue about. This didn't exactly take him long. About 17 minutes she had counted. Now they were arguing about milkshake, for the fifth time this summer.  
  
"For god sake Severus, were Potions teachers, can't we just buy milk and add our own flavours."  
  
He looked mildly outraged.  
  
"You can't just MAKE milkshake, you have to buy it out of a store or it doesn't taste remotely right."  
  
"Then we get strawberry this week and you can have banana next week."  
  
"Why can't I have banana this week.?"  
  
"Bloody hell, you are such a child Severus Snape.......and why shouldn't I have my flavour first. With any luck I'll be able to deaden the flavour."  
  
She gave him her best innocent smile. Which looked exactly the same as her evil grin. He had visions of her hovering over a cauldron discovering ways of which to destroy bananas forever. Then he had visions of her in a devil costume. Then he came back down to earth.  
  
"You're plotting something Constance, what are you up to.?!"  
  
"Nothing at all", then she turned to the shelf and muttered. "You poor, dozy prat."  
  
"Constance...what are you up to.?"  
  
"Nothing. Not a thing, darling. Just get your banana milkshake and we'll leave."  
  
"I don't want it now, what have you done to it.? Here we'll just have Strawberry, rather that than you experimenting with your new concoctions in my evening meal."  
  
"What if I don't want Strawberry."  
  
"Then we'll get Chocolate."  
  
"But that'll make me fatter."  
  
"No it won't."  
  
"So you think I'm already fat.!!!"  
  
"Noooooo.....I can't win this argument, can I.?"  
  
"Why don't you ask your new girlfriend.?"  
  
"What girlfriend.? You're my girlfriend..."  
  
"What about that floozy that has been staring at you since we came in here."  
  
"Where.? Is she good looking...don't look at me like that, I'm only asking."  
  
"Well I don't like you asking things like that...god she's coming over here, you are sleeping with her, aren't you.?"  
  
"Urm...Professor Snape, is that you.?"  
  
"Granger.! What are you doing here.? And stop looking at me.!"  
  
"I'm shopping with my parents."  
  
"In a muggle shop. You've been following me so you can blackmail me havn't you.?! Do you have any idea how many points I'm going to take from Gryffindor for this..."  
  
"I'm muggle-born Professor. Remember."  
  
As Severus remembered, Constance couldn't help but laugh at him trying desperately to make himself look menacing in a green Hawaiian shirt, but her laughter was cut short when she saw a certain tall, gangly, pig-tailed, clumsy person.  
  
Dodging behind the stack of milkshake cartens, she tried to tell Severus to hide too, but he was being introduced to the girls parents and trying to look the part of a respectable teacher at the school. Again she laughed, but in her amusement she didn't see Mildred walking up behind her.  
  
"Miss Hardbroom......"  
  
She was so startled that she actually squeeked slightly as she jumped around to face her student, the one particular student she had hoped wouldn't see her in a rather small and tight, bright red summer t-shirt.  
  
And that was the point Constance remembered that the heat of summer had driven even her to wear shorts. She consoled herself with the thought that at least they weren't pink like Severus' student's.  
  
"Mildred...er...good to...see you. Are you here with ...urm... you're parents.?  
  
"Sorry to bother you Miss Hardbroom, I just wanted to say 'hello'."  
  
Suddenly Severus' situation wasn't so funny, but she felt him coming up behind her and as he placed his hand on her waist she did the first thing she thought of. She pushed him.  
  
Unfortunately she pushed him right into the milkshake stand she had hid behind, the shelf collapsed on the floor in a swirl of yellow, pink and brown right on top of Severus.  
  
"Ahhhhhhhhhhh."  
  
"Severus, oh god, I'm so...."  
  
But she too was soon engulfed in the tidal of colours and as she slipped on a bottle she managed to grab Mildred around the neck, but brought them both to the floor next to Severus instead.  
  
When the bottles had stopped hurling themselves to the ground, Severus and Constance both immediately looked at their students.  
  
Hermoine and her parents were trying desperatley not to laugh at the situation, but Mildred was already giggling when her mother came around the corner, accompanied by Enid.  
  
"Millie what happened... Miss Hardbroom is that you.?"  
  
When Constance looked at herself she realised why Enid had to ask, she had been turned yellow by having most of the banana milk dropped on her, there was a dash of brown and pink here and there, but for the most part she looked like a giant canary. She seriously doubted whether anybody could ever be more embarassed.  
  
Looking at Severus she realised they could. He was a violent shade of luminous pink, and he didn't seem remotely amused, until he saw his new canary girlfriend.  
  
Together they burst into laughter and everybody around them did the same.  
  
When they had laughed enough they shot glares at their student who were quiet immediately and they managed to pull themselves to their feet. Constance offered a hand to Mildred who, looking suprised and fairly brown, got to her feet.  
  
"Well girls...urm...it was nice seeing you."  
  
"Same to you, Miss Granger."  
  
"We'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anybody about this at Cackles or Hogwarts."  
  
"Of course not Miss Hardbroom."  
  
"Yes Professor, I wouldn't dream of telling Harry and Ron."  
  
And with final glances back at their dripping teachers the three students went on their way and the teachers were about ready to cry.  
  
"We should probably go before security gets here, it'll be even more embarrasing if we're escorted off the premesise looking like Tweety Pie and a Powerpuff Girl."  
  
"What's a Powerpuff Girl.?"  
  
"Is that really relavant Severus.?"  
  
"Sorry."  
  
They both grinned and checking to make sure nobody else was around they dodged behind a door to find an empty room and were unaware that Hermoine Granger was hiding outside and could now hear their converstaion.  
  
"So, do those Powderpuffy things have any special powers."  
  
"I'm sure some of them do, whatever the hell they are."  
  
"I think I have showed some special powers before when it comes to you."  
  
"Oh you did, you did. You did show some special powers."  
  
Their laughter drowned out with a series of moans and Hermoine grinned insanely and mutterered to herself.  
  
"The boys are going to love this." 


End file.
